Thursday 19 February 2015

A Little Bit Of....Surviving A Zombie Apocalypse!


Why hello old friends, it's Hannie and today I've decided to show you one of my many, many specialities...zombies. I love zombies! Not in the weird way though, the cool way... there is a cool way to love zombies right? Probbbably not, but hey, just call me Rick Grimes cause we bout to kick some zombie ass!


Image result for lock your doors  Okay, when that little news reporter is all like, 'stay calm and stay together and....' *crash* and then you get that gory part where her necks being ripped out by a walker (walking dead reference, I know I'm awesome), ya know you need to get your cute little butt out of forever 21 because you were looking at those 'oh so cute' short shorts and into your safe and loving home where you will most likely die anyway because NOWHERE IS SAFE. But hey that's life. You need to lock your doors and listen to the great Antoine Dodson and 'Hide yo kids, Hide yo wife and Hide yo husband cause they 'eating' everybody out here'.

Image result for no zombie signNow you need to fill every tub and sink with water because water will probably cut out a few days in, you need to grab all the food you have in the house for now and get to the highest place in your house (of course excluding the roof). If you can, burn your stairs till nothing is left, the reason? This will prevent them from even reaching you as zombies can't climb, they can't swim either so if you're out at sea that's also good. But I would have to say attics are the best because no one can reach them, and also no one can identify them if it camouflages well with the rest of the house. Once you reach the highest area of your house make sure all ways into your area are blocked but there is only ONE way out of your area as you will eventually need to leave and will always need a back-up plan.
Image result for gym animation Next, always train because you will always be on the run, train with close up combat and long distance as well. With weapons don't use anything stupid like huge cannons or guns, the best are small, quiet and efficient weapons that won't attract even more attention and are easy to travel with.


Image result for don't be a heroOh yeah, so many references today (Zombieland). Your mind is blown! Finally, don't be a hero, don't think oh look there is a person who is running from a zombie, I know! Lets save them! NO,NO,NO! If you see anything that looks anything like a zombie you run, you run for your life you idiot. Unless it's an animal about to get eaten, especially a puppy. NEVER LEAVE THE PUPPIES.

And I think that's a good place to leave it...yeah....so.....BYE!

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